FIFA laws of the game “The coach and other occupants of the technical area must behave in a responsible manner.” In Pardew’s case an electrified fence should be mandatory. He was at it again until he realised he was out of his depth both on and off the field.

Some notable performances from newly introduced players made the transition seamless leading to a somewhat routine result. There’s a couple of name pronunciations I need to practice as I’ll be saying them many times in the forthcoming season.

Footnote/kneenote: Kun has reported that he is ok. Journeyman Scott Dann must be planning a Vinnie Jones acting career; luckily his kung fu kick has left no lasting damage.