3 o’clock Saturday, how novel, do you think it’ll catch on?

Watford has become generally accepted as the natural divide between Southern Jessies and normal people and when travelling south is where the graffiti starts.

The football club is notable for winning absolutely nothing but is celebrated for its closeness to nature as it’s branded as the Hornets and has been managed by a turnip. Don’t take your inflatable to the game; although they play in yellow I don’t perceive them as a banana skin.

Noted for its football teachings and proximity to the naturist swimming club, Vicarage Road is where both David James and Ashley Young learned how to dive.

I remember Reg Dwight’s uncle breaking his leg in the 1959 Cup Final. Who? I hear you young whipper snappers saying, well he’s the renowned Watford fan, Elton John.

See you at the match.